Chapter Seven

What do I do now?  I have one option open to me but I can not really afford it.  I could get a real court sanctioned confidential intermediary.  There is a part of me that just hates absolutely hates contributing to the system.  This one CI is good.  She is very good.  It is not her.  I think she would do right by me.  I have spoken with her enough times.  In fact, I need to contact her again to let her know that I was recommending her all over the place.   I don’t recommend the agency CI whatsoever.  Heck she is the former agency director.  She is also an adoptive parent. She has reason to keep whatever is so secretive in my file just that secret.

I want to find but I am reluctant to raise the money.  I could use it on so many other things.  I won’t accept money from others to help me find.  I just can’t do that.  I keep hoping against hope itself that Indiana will open the records eventually.  I hope my daughters won’t have to fight this battle years down the road.  I hope that they won’t have health issues coming from my undetermined side of the family.

I read recently in an Indian heritage book.  It takes ten generations in order to correct the rift that adoption causes.  It will take that long before my tree will be rerooted.

Another legislative session begins soon in Indiana.  I will again begin to write letters to legislators.  Hopefully I can get them to listen to me and to the others living adoption.

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